The Rose Creeper Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. I can't believe tom allows shit like this on his site. She bends over my chair, quivering in anticpation. She's tiny, fun to throw around, and she likes it a little rough, she chewed the shit out of my chest, bruises everywhere the next day. A few days later my left nipple starts to hurt a bit, a few days later it's swollen and so tender that t-shirt fabric touching it is agony. This will force the cum to dribble out of the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.
The Bait N' Tackle The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. The Screwnicorn When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn. Tea Bag To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. The Mung Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days the time period since death is important. Have your partner stretch his body over your and enter you, mimicking the position that you're in.
Kid, take a fucking chill pill. Cold Lunch The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio. The Shocker When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina and pinky in her anus. Oyster A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them. In fact, the only thing she really said uncle for was the clothespegs on the nips.
Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Just before insertion, remove the rubber without getting caught of course , and proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. Plating Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. Dirty Sanchez A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. If you match the speed of his sensual swirling with your hips, your bodies will move as one big, undulating sexual monster.
Then, just when you're ready to spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you. The Lorena Bobbit Obviously, this one is for the ladies. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms.
With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. Shortly following this you force her to give you a hand job. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter. After having them for a year I went swimming, I had been swimming before also, and it was during Memorial Day so the pool was full of kids.
As you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. The Carpet Cleaner While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Erotic Instructions Lie on your stomach with your arms raised above your head. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.
She looked like that cookie monster-giant cookie gif with less googly-eye. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. This is done by having anal sex, knocking the catcher or recieving person out and finally pulling out the penis. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out. Challenging her to a duel afterwards is optional. Western Grip When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you.
New Jersey Meat-Hook The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. Cross your index and middle, your ring and pinkie and go to town. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez. Muff Teaser Finger, suck, eat, etc. They give the cue and the guy in back pulls her legs out and the one in from grabs her arms so that none of her body is touching the bed. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema of your life.
Picture it: ass on forehead It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. Great fun during those long sleepless nights. Last edited on Feb 21 2013. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked.