It's a bit like learning a new language. About Month 4, I noticed a 180 in behavior. Nothing important should b discarded or thrown out. I told him it's very uncomfortable for me and his kids being in their mom's house and I get that. I cook, I clean, I care for his son. The problem is that I am in a two years old relationship.
It was just a pity. Also not knowing why exactly he shared that information with you. In fact men would probably find it humiliating. When the man u love is telling u he loves u and wants a future with u and u feel like the pictures are staring angrily back at you. We miss each other constantly but when we get together we do many things that we both enjoy: dancing, movies, dinner, spiritual talks, etc. I really care about him and miss him terribly, but have accepted the breakup and have respect for myself and the relationship to give him the space he asked for.
Nor does it seem to generate this much controversy, even though widowed women talk about dating a lot. My wife passed gently into the early morning hours — the silent time. I thought they use to mean so much but with his actions I feel like I actually get more from them than the words and he is so special that I am willing to be patient. . I have seen the confusion in their eyes. I seem to be avoided for some reason.
His wife died 4 years ago. I have a toddler and I would not feel right having a crazy lady like that around. Religion was much more important to folks in the West and South than the Northeast. By the way my kids split time with their dad and are here only half their time anyway—and grown now so even less. The widower and I met at our local Y last May 2018. I really feel for anyone who has lost a spouse.
You see…if you know my work you know that its foundation is based on helping women embrace that their own happiness must be their first priority. When the right woman catches their eye, they'll do just about anything and everything they can to show the woman how much they love them. Anyone who has lost a spouse, especially at a young age, knows about the preciousness of each moment we are given. I do think it causes confusion in the eyes of his friends, They see the profile pic but then see him with me in tow socially. The desire for sex is one of the reasons widowers start dating again.
But I'm willing to learn and grow in this journey. You are a smart woman for walking away for now. Everyone of them has finished when I could not accept a new woman in a place of my wife. You need to be honest with them and tell them that you are not there to replace their mother but you will be there to support them and they should feel free to speak about their mother or their feelings. Make a decision what you are willing to accept. Having Jennifer in my life brought a sense of normalcy that had been missing since Krista died.
His nice daughter is a paramedic. He asked me to move in with him and we are. My advice is to set boundaries right away. Changing bad habits is something that needs to be done immediately or else it will never change and things might get unpleasant otherwise. It just happens to be framed in the context of the lady you are dating being a widow. Of course she was a major part of his life and mother of his children.
I think that men are able to see it that way too! Grieving is not a couples activity. Is it a red flag? My wife passed a year and a half ago after a losing a grueling battle to cancer. I have some ideas for when the time comes on that topic. And I do love him, so why not try it, give him the romantic space he needs instead of my initial reaction of running away. You can never replace the children's mother but you can be a goo mom, that will love and care for them. His son has been in charge since he was a tiny boy.
I just feel odd when I am kissing him and I catch a glimpse of a photo of the two of them. He never intended to ever be able to love someone this much again and I believe he does mean it when he says He never wants me out of his life and loves me with all his heart. Most people entering a relationship would like most of the focus to be on their new relationship. He is 67 and I am 60 and the fact that we could be together but are wasting the rest of our lives is eating me up. I doubt she will date or remarry but if she did - while it would be odd for me I never would think she was forgetting my father, but I also feel it would be possible for her to find love a second time around just as strong as with my Dad albeit different because of stage of life etc. He has 4 kids from their marriage 8-16 yrs old now.
The word forsake means to abandon. Remember that when dating a widowed man, or any new relationship, taking it slow and easy will help you succeed. Were there some challenges along the way for them? If you are ok in that role, then so be it. You need to get clarity on what you need and want before that conversation…but have it. Only you can decide what you can live with and it sounds like you have some very specific things that feel bad to you. He admits now that he wasn't ready. Beware, beware to all who hear me.