I am just now seeing the review and while I respect his professional opinion, it sounds like the opinion of someone who has never experienced the punitive silent treatment for days on end. You have no idea what you could have possibly done to deserve this treatment. Everything I do revolves around him and his time frame, he never puts extra effort in for me. Their opinions, values, and reasons are irrelevant while you figure out what you want. They only care about the power silence gives them — the power to compel you to do what they want, the power to make you grovel at their feet, the power to make you do feel desperate to get back in their good graces.
The silent treatment is toxic to relationships and the only way to deal with it is to address it head on, in a calm, centered manner. We went for a short time a year ago, and we have individual therapy but I'm more constant with it than he is. Why does the author of This article automatically assume that it is tbe man giving the silent Treatment? His anger is about him not about you. Turns out it was a great decision because I've been married to a man for the past 20+ years who never gives me the silent treatment and we are wonderfully happy together! It may sound a little extreme but I have ended relationships in the past for this very reason, simply because I saw those people as too immature and undeserving of my patience and understanding, if they cannot care equally for me. I feel bad about ruining our Xmas.
The tips in this post on how to deal with the silent treatment are geared towards couples in romantic relationships, but can be applied to all types of partnerships: work, school, family, or even neighbors. And if he starts drinking he doesn't have control over how much drinking is enough and when is the time to go home. Because I was too scared of him to show him in any other way that he hurt me and I need his love. Yes I apologized, more than once, yet he probably, might still be deeply hurt. The person giving you the silent treatment is the one acting like a two year old. If someone's needs are met, perhaps that is better than not. After you speak to them, go about your life and do not try to get them to speak.
Your boyfriend did not abandon you—he broke up with you. Maybe they were pushing your boundaries, and you stood up for yourself, causing their deep-rooted fear of abandonment to surface and triggered the need to implement the silent treatment against you. So, how does one resolve a fight when your spouse, parent, or other loved one isn't allowing even a sliver of communication to pass between you? Arguments and disagreements can be resolved however I am unwilling to consider a meaningful, long-term relationship, with someone that behaves in this manner. Consider what causes silent treatment. I use the time to do what I want, meanwhile he's sulking and nothing from what he claims goes right for him! Typically I have observed that people who chose the emotional abuse path always choose such partners on whom they can have the upper hand, maybe because they are subconsciously or consciously aware that they cannot handle someone similar to them. We did not argue at all, I just traveled for my masters registration and upon return, he was gone. My sister and brother also give people the silent treatment.
I am 31, married for 8 years now, have a kid who is 6 and living with my husband which I think he is abuser. Thanks Linda I am being ignored at my job. I am 7 weeks pregnant after years of trying to conceive, and trying to stay as calm as possible in the situation. I asked him if is it right to drink like that and behave like that? If the relationship is abusive and harmful for you, consider walking away. Would you be willing to send out some love to your friends and family? I've always been one who has difficulty in waiting to work things out! Maybe not every day which is what you said you want but only you can decide when the tradeoff is necessary.
The weak disclaimer stating it's not just men who use the silent treatment is laughable. While partially true, I knew my actions were also hurtful and did not quickly stop it. It seems that both expert reviews on this article I've seen both of them are comparing their apples to the author's oranges. We reap what we sow. I found your article because I was searching for an advice on Google about how to cope with abuse and silent treatment and I am happy I found this information and am feeling hopeful I might get the specific advice from the author of this article. Wish you the best of luck! In this case, you actually have some control because you are the parent.
In the dirty dishes scenario, it would seem like your partner is resorting to silence as a way of getting back at you. The principles of how to address it don't really change, though. You can accept it completely, to the degree that it truly doesn't bother you at all. Before doing anything drastic about the silent treatment, make sure you know where the silence comes from. Well, too late, you want a divorce, you got one.
While I was in some other town, I used to still call her up regularly. I grew up suffering from this from my mom and then when married I found out that my husband does it too : It hurts so much and makes me feel bad. If the person is normally mature and reasonable, you might try an appeal to their inner human. And telling the target of a silent treatment in a romantic relationship to examine their actions, etc. He might not have any other problem-solving strategies to handle whatever happened that led up to the incident.