Before his parents are aware of the fact, he has learned all that is vile and degrading in life. Victorian society did not recognize that there was a lower class. The law can touch us here and there, now and then. Such prejudices are beyond our comprehension; yet we all know very sensible people who adopt them as their own, and will not be persuaded that there can be no more fatality attending the sitting at dinner with thirteen than for thirty. Strife is a hidden rock, and a good pilot will endeavor to steer clear of it; and wives will avoid discussions, and all unseemliness of speech, and exclaim, with Mrs. Never help yourself to butter, or any other food with your own knife or fork. They could ignore, or 'cut' the person of lower rank.
Suburbs and servants Following social rules was even more important for middle-class women. Etiquette rules stated that these duties should be carried out by the man on her behalf. Having more than one servant was a sure sign that you had money. And people were told to never marry someone with the same eye color as they have. For without the first, you will surely waste not only your own time but that of others; without the second, you will make mistakes which will be injurious to your own credit and interest, and that of others committed to your charge; without the third, you cannot perform anything correctly; and without the fourth, you will lose many opportunities for advancement which can never be regained. And bear in mind that forbearance, kindness, generosity, and integrity belong to the lordly attributes of man.
Ushers are always selected from the near relatives, and friends of both bride and groom, and are usually young men in society. Learn to deny yourself and prefer others. And also that the knowledge of being well-dressed -- not necessarily in a very expensive attire, but becomingly and suitably dressed, does give one an ease of manner, and an unconsciousness of self, which can never be obtained, when one is conscious of looking badly, i. What would people of today do without overusing words? The gentleman or lady who deposits his or her luggage upon three seats in a car, and then takes possession of the fourth, and persistently reads either book or newspaper while others look in vain for a seat, is far more ill-bred than those who laugh and talk noisily, and scatter shells of nuts and rinds of fruit upon the floor, utterly indifferent to those around them. But when ladies are thrown together in this manner, it surely savors of impoliteness, and an insular reserve, which is anything but agreeable, if they hold themselves aloof from others, excepting those of their own peculiar set.
One fashion I've always disliked from Victorian times were some of the severe hairstyles of the females but maybe that was because they didn't wash hair as often as we do now. It does not demand great wit or humor, for one soon tires of being compelled to acknowledge the point or the joke, and inveterate punsters are often a great annoyance in society. And no man can afford to violate these unwritten customs of etiquette who wishes to act as a Christian gentleman. Elderly ladies can suit themselves about such matters. Do not watch the dishes while being uncovered or talk with your mouth full. If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart. Armed with one of these books, the newly-hatched middle-class gentleman could avoid making any social gaffes in polite society.
I agree with you - there is nothing more tedious or boring than someone blowing off about themselves and talking only about their own interests! I would have issues in hig I'm not a big nonfiction reader, but I'm trying to read more nonfiction. You should never pour either coffee or tea into your saucer, but always let it cool, and drink it from the cup. An untidy, ill-dressed, slovenly looking man is quite as bad looking as a woman of similar habits. Do not dispense with any of the little ceremonies of the table when you dine en famille, and then your servants, being trained to do good service every day, will not disappoint you when company is present. And then you should call immediately upon the family thus presented to your notice.
Never ask to be helped to soup a second time. Should, however, the wine not be desired by you, you are at liberty to courteously decline it. When served, do not wait until all the others are helped, but as soon as your plate is placed before you, take up your knife and fork, help yourself to salt, first arranging your napkin to shield your attire, but not wearing it like a bib about your neck. Saturate the hair and scalp with this two or three times per week and you will soon have a head free from gray hairs and dandruff, while the hair will be soft and glossy. I won't waste a lot of time on the obvious, common sense varieties of good manners. I don't think every man of this time did agree, but when its entrenched in society it's a brave person who sets out to change things.
This tip from an 1890s etiquette book demonstrates how a man should always stay nearest the street while on a sidewalk, allowing a lady the inside of a sidewalk, to protect her from dangers which may occur. At five or six he closes his desk, and leaves his office or counting-room, and betakes himself home; and it is to be hoped that then at least he enjoys his dinner in quietness and peace. We would not make dandies of our boys, but a due regard for their personal appearance is almost as essential, as a due regard for the rights of others, to make them agreeable companions in the home circle. Women can do more in this matter than the lawgivers, because the traffic in liquor can only be suppressed when those who consume it have learned the errors of their ways, and turn aside from the glass. We have met with girls who have felt that their faces were not agreeable to any one, not even to their own mothers; and have seemingly taken upon themselves vows of voluntary ugliness; and would not endeavor to keep their teeth white and their finger nails tidy, or shield their complexions from the baleful influence of the noonday sun, or even smile enough to render their faces sunshiny; and they will set aside as vanitas vanitatum all the little adjuncts of the toilette, such as bright sheeny ribbons and gauzy laces, and keep themselves closely to plain linen collars and cuffs, and black neckties; and even pride themselves, like Diogenes of old, upon the skinny parsimony of their attire, and deem that article of dress which is the most unbecoming to be the most respectable.
Business letters also demand a prompt reply, and it is most annoying not to attend to them as soon as is possible. And when you are at home, be sure and inform your friends of your safe arrival, and express the gratification you have received from your visit, and gracefully allude to different members of the family, while you thank them for their kindly hospitality. If a gentleman should see a lady approaching a narrow crossing, or going up or down a staircase, he should lift his hat, and stand aside for her to pass. Do you think the Victorians could teach us anything about manners? A gentleman should never be introduced to a young or old lady without her permission being obtained. And they will also scrupulously respect the rights of their entertainers, and never criticise their surroundings and manners to other persons. It certainly was a man's world but your right, the guys back then did know how to show respect to a lady - and they were very strict about it as well.